Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Where's Hillbilly Mom

I have been misplaced!

OK, technically, I have been DISplaced. I cannot go home again. The water is wide. The journey of 15 miles begins with just one revolution of an LSUV tire. In case you haven't heard, we in the midwest are getting a long, slow rain event. For example, we got 3 inches of rain overnight, and were supposed to get another 7 today. I am not outside with a ruler, but I know that HH had to come back to the Mansion after traveling only half a mile this morning. Water was over the itty bitty concrete dip thingy on the way to the Shootist's house. HH went back 40 minutes later and drove through it in the truck, which he had traded for his ancient Mercedes. We followed about 20 minutes later. I had to drive through about 10 inches of water. I was not a happy canoe-er. We had to go 8 miles out of our way to get to town. That was the last resort. Route #4 of the 4 possible ways to get to town.

Now we can't get home. After all the going around the elbow to get to the thumb, HH was thwarted by this itty bitty bridge. We will be spending the night at my mother's townhouse. By that, I mean her brick split-level home near the city limits. We will all wear the same clothes to school and work tomorrow. She has offered to wash them for us. I suppose we will sit around naked as jaybirds during the wash and dry cycle. NOT.

I certainly hope that the dogs go eat out of the neighbors' dogs' food pans. It's the least they can do, considering that we feed the entire pet population. The minute we go up the driveway, it's pet party at the Mansion. I know. I've had to come back for something, and foreign pets go a-jumpin' off the Mansion porch like rats off a sinking ship.

I was almost happy that tomorrow is a half-day for kids. A 5/7 day, to be exact. But then I remembered that I am at school until 7:00 p.m. for conferences, just like tonight, but in the same clothes, with a slightly more sour attitude.

Who wants to be the first person to make a crack about my clothes tomorrow, huh?


DPA said...

That sucks. But at least you have a place to stay....and a place to wash your underwear. I think I would get a little nutty if I couldn't go home for a night and had to go back to work the next morning. I need time to unwind and recharge, and that just can't be done anywhere but home.

Hillbilly Mom said...

As I type, I am wearing The Devil's underwear. The Devil brought the floods, make no mistake. HH and I made an excursion to The Playground last evening. We are richer in underwear, socks, umbrellas, boys' shirts, toothbrushes, acne medicine, and deodorant. Apparently, it's quite expensive not to smell.

I could not unwind. I had to type my blog on NewLappy, he of the oddly spaced keys. HH hogged the quilt, snored and stopped breathing without his breather, got up and turned off the sound to the TV I fell asleep watching, and bounced the mattress like a trampoline. That TV thing is typical HH. He couldn't turn off the whole TV, only the sound. That man does EVERYTHING half-a$$ed. That's how he rolls.