Thursday, March 6, 2008

Random Thought Thursday #8-08

Hee hee! It's Thursday, and I don't have to string coherent paragraphs together. Random thoughts, here I come!

Who needs a meteorologist when you have Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's aching bones, and her students who appear to have been whipped into a frothy, fever-pitched full-moon frenzy?

John McCain's arms are too short to box with God. In fact, a T Rex could b*tchslap him without Johnny Boy landing a blow. What's the deal? I saw Georgie Porgy Bush greet him on the steps of the White House (after an entertaining soft-shoe routine from the old soft-headed fool), and the difference in arm length was staggering. Johnny's shoulders were a good inch higher than Georgie's, but his arms were at least 4 inches shorter. Maybe 6. I fear that Johnny is not fit to enforce the long arm of the nation's law. It troubles me. But not so much as Georgie's dragging knuckles have irritated me for nigh on 8 years.

While we're being political, lets give equal time to some other candidates, and the current POTUS. My mom calls John McCain John McClain. Oh, that's nothing. Governor Huckabee is Governor Hucklebee to her. My son, on the other hand, refers to him as Hickabee. It's the Arkansas connection, you know. My mom can not abide George Bush. She has to turn off the TV when he comes on, because she can't stand his smirk. I think he needs to increase his word power. Then he can understand those big words that his advisers feed him through that little earpiece, and he won't make such embarrassing English language faux pas.

In case you haven't noticed, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is a bit of a democrat. But that does not stop her from ridiculing her own candidates. Barry O needs to stop with the bent finger already. Either point it like you mean it, or leave it with its companions. And stop your gosh-darn preaching. Just talk like a normal person and say something of substance, for cryin' out loud.

Hang on there, Hillary. You don't get a free pass. Lighten up. Thank the Gummi Mary, you've gotten a stylist since your White House years. Apparently, a stylist who is not from Arkansas. It was painful watching you back then. One hairstyle after another was uglier than homemade sin. And the frocks weren't so fetching, either. But let's not dwell in the past. I'm sure that look was only to please your hubby. Look at his taste in women, after all. You were only trying to keep him at home. The new look is acceptable. So what if people make fun of your pantsuits? I agree that they are all disturbingly similar, but it's not like you have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. embroidered on the back. A fighter such as yourself needs to be comfortable. So I give you a pass on the pantsuits. But the screeching voice is another matter. Perhaps you should invest some of that $4 million you raked in during the 48 hours after Ohio on a diction coach. Just sayin'...

The earth opened to swallow HH today. More on that story tomorrow.


Marshamarshamarsha said...

I could not agree with you more. Hilarious post!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Thanks. Better said here than at my lunch table. I make it a rule not to say anything political at work. It stems from someone sending political emails to everybody. I find that a bit presumptuous.