Monday, March 10, 2008

The Pony And The Bee

We just got home from The Pony's spelling bee. I regret to report that Our Little Pony went out in the first round. Poor Pony. I felt very sad for him. He does not take things like this well. I think perhaps he was crying silent Pony tears down in his loser seat. He was looking at the floor, not the other contestants on the stage. Poor Pony.

When it was over, and they called all 20 contestants up on stage again, The Pony seemed to be his sunny little self. They handed out certificates to all but the five finalists--and The Pony. He was crestfallen. Then a teacher down front from his school, who was a guest judge, said, "Wait a minute. Hillbilly Pony didn't get his certificate." They fished around and found it and apologized. The Pony went all flaky. During pictures, he sometimes held the certificate in front of his face. Or clamped it under his chin. He's a bit immature. Some of the kids were twice his size. I suppose they were 5th graders, but The Pony IS the second-smallest kid in his 4th grade class.

When the kids were released to the custody of the parents, The Pony came right to me instead of his grandma. Take THAT, Gammy! And he stood with his lip trembling. I told him I was proud of him. He crumpled up his number tag thingy around his neck, but he held his certificate carefully. I think he'll recover. The bottom line is that he's MY Little Pony, and I'm proud of him no matter what place he did or didn't get in the spelling bee.

And for a bit of political incorrectness...during the practice round, one of the girls was given the word 'whip'. She asked for it to be used in a sentence. The reader hesitated, then said, "He will whip the naughty children." Yeah. These sentences are given out by the great spelling bee conglomerate so that all can have the same kind of words and examples. They must have been using them for years. Like back in the day when parents were still allowed to whip their kids.

Ahh...the good ol' days.


LanternLight said...

"He will whip the naughty children."

Luxury! Bring back Workhouses I say!!! (

DPA said...

Poor pony.

I once got eliminated by the word "yodel." When I asked them to use it in a sentence, the teacher actually yodeled, which didn't help me at ALL.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Ya got THAT right! Make those little whippersnappers BEG for their gruel, I say. Make them learn a trade, like picking pockets.

One poor kid got 'scabbard', which I would have misspelled 'scabboard'. But that's beside the point. He asked for a sentence, and the reader, an elementary teacher, said, "The knight put his sWord back in the scabbard." She pronounced the W! I couldn't believe it. Oh, and another poor urchin received the word 'amphora', which I would have spelled correctly, but didn't know its meaning. The Pony says it is some kind of pottery or vessel used by ancient civilizations. I took his word for it. After all, he DID say he knew all the rest of the words once he was out.

Stewed Hamm said...

My friend always has dreams that he's in a 3rd grade spelling bee. Everyone gets words like "rock" and "car" while he gets "excommunicate."

Hillbilly Mom said...

Last night I dreamed that the principal had the fundraising money my class donated to the penny drive. He had put it in a sandwich bag, ZipLoc, and was holding it up to the light, saying, "Is this ALL?"

I suppose I'm feeling inadequate at work.