My Social Calendar

One of my oldest blog buddies, DPA, asked if I was really going to see the REAL Kathy Griffin. Yes. Yes, I am. The real one. Not an old lady in a wheelchair, with one eye and blue hair, who talks about her cats, and goes by the stage name of Cathy Griffen. Not a punked-out, pink-haired tranny who moonlights as Kathy Griffith. Not that there's anything wrong with either of those fictitious personas. But I am going to see the real deal. KATHY GRIFFIN. I know we are sympatico. She's my kind of gal. She would have my back if a drunken frat boy pulled my crank in a casino. "Go to hell, you f---ing m----rf---er!" she would snarl. Then we would high-five, and take a sip of our non-alcoholic drinks, and rally the casino crowd into a frenzy until they would do our bidding. Perhaps a pleasant evening of tar-and-feathering f---ing m----rf---ers who dared disrupt our catty banter.

That's not until Sunday night, at the Fabulous Fox. More imminent on the horizon is the annual Trivia Contest sponsored by our Band Boosters. It's the one we WON last year. But this year, Mr. H has dared to tamper with the mix. We will be sportless. That right there is throwing away 10 points. We have no hope. We can't even name The Great White Hope. Unless somebody has seen the movie. We are also without our Mr. L, who has forsaken us to concoct a family team. Blood is thicker than water, apparently. Who knew?

The excitement does not stop. Monday night, I will be attending an elementary regional spelling bee. It's true! I'm a regular social butterfly these days. Tuesday brings an academic meet, and Wednesday is an early out to prepare for an upcoming invasion. Did I say that? It must be the sweet, sweet Histinex forming words at the tips of my fingers. I meant to say 'to prepare for an upcoming inspection by some hoity-toities for a program we are hoping to add to our humble school'. Which doesn't sound much better. Thursday will be another academic meet, and Friday, a middle school regional spelling bee. Somewhere in there is my birthday and Valentine's Day.

I'm tired already. But it might be my sweet master, The Histinex.