Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's Never Ever List

I informed my students of school policies. Then I informed them of my rules. My Never Evers. Here they are, in no particular order:

Students in Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's classes should NEVER, EVER:

*Sit in my chair
*Touch things on my desk (except for the tissues I lovingly buy for you instead of making you tear off a hank of the see-through school toilet paper)
*Look through my desk or cabinets
*Talk while I am talking
*Throw things at the wastebasket like it is a basketball goal
*Use the computers without permission
*Shout greetings at any guests who enter the classroom
*Open the windows without permission
*Roam around the room
*Mess with the light switch, call button, or doorstop
*Hide somebody's stuff as a joke
*Make fun of other students for any reason
*Move the desks
*Listen to music through tiny earphone thingies
*Write on the board
*Erase anything on the board
*Backtalk (I will win, no matter how long it takes. Just so you know.)
*Drop a book from shoulder height just to hear the SLAM
*Put trash in the desks
*Write on or put gum on the desks
*Bring food or drink into the classroom
*Let me see or hear a cell phone
*Make or throw paper airplanes or any other projectiles
*Apply cologne, perfume, deodorant, lotion, or make-up in my classroom
*Stand by me in the doorway between classes
*Say anything you don't want your parents or the principal to hear (Because my number one priority is to make sure everyone in this school is safe. I am a well-known tattletale. So if you want to talk about instigating a fight, running away, taking drugs, drinking, sexcapades, stealing, parties, etc., I guarantee that I will tell. Just so you know.)

Let me elaborate on that last one. Several years ago, I had a student who was 16 years of age who loved to talk about his parties. On Friday, he would say, "Hey guys! I'm having a party tomorrow. I'm making hot wings. I make really good hot wings. And we're having beer, too." So off to lunch I went, and told the principal how this kid was bragging about his party. The principal just happened to let the local police know that this party was in the works. This scenario played out 3 or 4 times that quarter. One Monday, the kid looked depressed. He said, "Every time I have a party, the police show up. I don't understand how that happens EVERY time." Duh.

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is a well-known tattletale. And proud of it.