Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Puzzling To The Oldies

I promised to tell you about ladies from The Home at the dentist's office.

At first, I thought they were normal. Only one was in the waiting room. There were other people, so she was not conspicuous. There were two girls of teenage years who came in together, and a woman and her teenage daughter. This older woman sat alone on the couch, while the others and I chose chairs. The only thing unusual about Oldie was that on the floor near her feet sat two plastic bags of the type favored by The Devil's Playground. Inside were clothes. Oh, well. Perhaps she had been shopping, though the Playground was 5 miles away.

The door to the inner sanctum opened, and Moldie came out. Oldie greeted her with a friendly word and a smile, but did not rise. Moldie sat down on the couch next to Oldie. Here was the conversation that tipped me off about something fishy visiting from The Home:

O-Can you get up?
M-Yes. There's nothing wrong with me.
O-Well, if people come in, someone might want to sit there.
M-I can get up.
O-Are you sure?
O-I guess we can leave.
M-I don't know.
O-Are we supposed to wait for Sandy?
M-She didn't say.
O-I'm glad she brought your clothes.
O-I was going to ask her if she wanted to come back to the house.
O-I guess we can go.
M-They want you next.
M-Yes. She said to send you in.
O-She said for me to come in?
O-Why didn't you say so?
M-I moved my head back when I came out.
O-I wonder why they want me?
M-I don't know.
O-I've already had MY teeth cleaned.
O-Well I guess I'd better go.

A couple minutes later she came back.

O-They didn't want me.
M-Well, that's what she said.
O-I'm done.
O-I guess we can go now.

Sandy came out.

S-We're ready to go. I'm just going in the bathroom.
O-Let's go.
M-OK. (Making no move to get up.)
O-(Standing up.) Come on.
O-Can you get up?
M-Yes. (She didn't move.)

Sandy came out of the bathroom, and took Oldie through to the pay counter.
Moldie swayed back and forth on the couch. Then she leaned to and fro. Then she wiggled forward. Finally, she got up and went to join them.

When my boy came out, we went to the pay counter. We had to wait for Sandy and Oldie to settle up. Moldie was nowhere to be seen. Nor were the clothes. I don't know if they left them on the floor, or she took them outside. Sandy seemed to be the brains of the outfit, like maybe she was a caretaker of some sort. She was writing a check. BUT SO WAS OLDIE! I don't know what was going on. Maybe they were just humoring her. Maybe Sandy was the daughter. The bottom line is that I stood in line longer than my kid was in the chair getting his sealant applied to his teeth.

OH, THE HORROR! When we got into the parking lot, the party of three was just leaving. IN TWO SEPARATE CARS! I do not want to think of Oldie and Moldie driving. I waited a good long time after they left before I pulled out.

The life of Hillbilly Mom. Every day is an adventure.


Redneck Diva said...

Now that I'm a working woman, I find that Moldie and Oldie drive my highway at the exact same time I'm heading to work. Every single day. Those ladies are crafty and sly, methinks.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Be on the lookout. They might drive the wrong way. With a sack of clothes hanging out the bottom of the door crack area.