Thursday, November 29, 2007

Random Thought Thursday #7

Yes. Here it is, after taking Thanksgiving Week off...Random Thought Thursday: The Return.

I'm exhausted from all my Christmas shopping today. I had a notice to pick up three packages at the post office. Yes. The one that smells like a dead mouse. When I got there, I had SIX packages. Then when we got home, and I let the #1 son out at the end of the driveway to run the trash dumpster to the house like an old-time newspaper boy, I saw something odd on the front porch. I could not tell what it was. Perhaps I should have put on my new glasses. Upon further investigation, the closer I got to the house, I saw that it was a package smack dab in front of the front door--with a black tuxedo cat sitting on top. That cat is nuts. He is Tank-the-beagle's pet. The one Tank molests on a regular basis. Anyhoo, when I pulled the LSUV into the garage, two more packages awaited. That's 9 packages today, people. My Christmas shopping is almost done!

News flash: the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet is not the part where he climbs up her hair. Just sayin'...

Just once, I would like to walk by The Smellinator that I have in every class, and fart silently, but deadly-ly, and listen to them whine about how "You can't DO that! That is nasty. That is just wrong." Heh, heh. Payback is a b*tch.

Can somebody teach the lunch ladies to grimace more fiercely? Cause I don't think you can. I'll wager $100 of my hard-earned greenbacks.

I am a master of paybacks. Don't mess with me. Last night, I left two pieces of pizza on the pan on the stove. I instructed HH to leave it there; it was for my lunch today. The kids did not eat pizza. My Little Pony will only eat cheese pizza, and the #1 son declares that he does not like The Devil's Playground deli pizza. Before bed, I went to make my lunch, and ONLY ONE PIECE REMAINED! This morning, I asked HH why he ate one of my pieces when I saw three of his in the refrigerator. We like different toppings, you see. He is partial to pepperoni and onions, while I prefer green and red peppers and NO onions with my souped-up hamburger pizza. HH replied that he did not eat it. He said, "Your son was in the shower when I went to bed. I imagine he ate it. You can have mine if you want." No deal. I don't like his toppings. I quizzed #1 when he rolled out of bed. "No. I didn't eat it. I don't even LIKE it." I asked if he was calling his dad a liar. "No. I don't know what happened to it." He might as well have signed a confession. But he wouldn't admit it. So I went to the pantry and moved his box of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls down one shelf. He went to grab one for the ride to school, and shouted, "WHERE ARE MY SWISS ROLLS?" Heh, heh. Payback is a b*tch. Indeed she is. (He finally admitted to the pizza pilfering after school, which ruined his ploy of begging for a separate meal every time we have it.)

"A Homeless Christmas" door decoration would have gone very well with our theme basket for the food pantry. How dare we be denied! What's wrong with my students' vision of 'bums standing around a trash can warming their hands over a fire', with the caption: "Families come in all shapes. Merry Christmas from our family to yours." That's not fair. I'm sure the denier wanted to steal the idea for HER door.

Time flies when it's your best TV night and you got home late with your problem children.

2 comments:

DPA said...

Just once, I would like to walk by The Smellinator that I have in every class, and fart silently, but deadly-ly, and listen to them whine about how "You can't DO that! That is nasty. That is just wrong." Heh, heh. Payback is a b*tch.

I've done it. muwahahahahhah!

Hillbilly Mom said...

DPA,
You da Debbil, Ms DPA!

You're as bad as I wanna be!