Friday, November 9, 2007

Paul Young'un

I've heard some tall tales in my life. I've even seen Babe the Big Blue Ox on an episode of The Simpsons. But there are some things that are just too implausible.

I do not understand children. By 'children', I mean those who should know better, in the 14-15 year old age range. Are they not born with BS Detectors these days? Why, oh why, do they believe the crap they tell each other?

Here's an example. I overheard it. Believe me, it's not something I would ask questions about. A 9th grade boy has been telling the kids he is the father of twins. It's not like such a thing has never happened at our school. Except I think it was an 8th-grader. Anyhoo, this kid carries a picture of his 'girlfriend' in his wallet. The others say she 'looks like a model'. Lothario has told them that he doesn't want to get caught driving without a license, because he is behind on his child support. Some of the kids have functioning BSDs. They are the ones who quiz Lothario on his daughters' names, ages, how he met his baby mama, and if he has pictures of the babies.

One of them pointed out, "This is a big Christmas for them, you know. Have you bought them any presents? You really need to get a job. Be sure to take pictures so you can show us." She doesn't believe this story for a minute. I'm inclined to agree with her. My BSD is humming right along. It doesn't even need batteries. It's like one of those flashlights that all you have to do is shake it. Except my BSD doesn't need shaking. It charges itself on overheard gossip.

Lothario says his dad drove him to St. Louis to meet her. (I suppose he's never heard of the Canadian girlfriend ploy). His dad left them alone. Now Lothario has twins. Oh, but his mom and dad don't know about it. He told one girl that the twins are about to turn 1, and she said, "Wait a minute! Last time you said they were almost 2!" Another class started talking about it, and the smartest kid in there said, "It's true, you know. He really does have twins. They're 6 years old. But don't ask his mom and dad, because he's not paying child support, and they don't know he has kids." Then the doubters came to life. "SIX! What would he have been, 8 years old when he got her pregnant? No way would his dad take him up there and leave him at 8."

We'll see if any pictures develop at Christmas.


DPA said...

That's hilarious. Why would he even want his peers to think that about him? I mean, I know boys like to say they've had sexual experiences that they haven't had, but the baby story is weird. I knew a girl who lied about having a baby. Actually, I knew two girls who lied about having babies. But never a guy.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I don't know why he does it. He's not very good at it. It's like in that movie, Mr. Mom, when Michael Keaton answers the door, and says he's rewiring the house, and the guy says, "What are you running, 110 ?" And Michael Keaton says, "110, 111...whatever."