Friday, November 2, 2007

Beastie Weasties

My Little Pony is castless for the first time in 4 weeks. His arm is flaky and snaky-looking. If he can't bend and twist if completely after a week, he will need therapy. Most kids do, after this type of injury and immobilization. That's what the doctor told us way back when he got his first cast. He is happy as a clam, My Little Pony. His dad took him to see Bee Movie. This is the opening day for that movie. He never gets to go on the opening day. I declare that it's too crowded. However, people do not piss HH off to the extent they piss HM off, so they went.

Tonight we had a big cat-fight at the Mansion. There I was, walking around the porch, minding my own business, when there came such a yowling that I knew this was no little spat. Off the back of the 5th-wheel camper came my longhaired white calico cat. All of the other animals hate her. Let's just say that 'Snuggles' is not aptly named. The black tuxedo cat, who I swear is the devil, was after her. They balled up in a cloud of flying white fur, and rolled like Chinese acrobats across the side yard, through the wooden pool deck steps, under the deck, beside the Free Hairwad Hot Tub, and under the wooded, decaying playset that the kids have never liked. During the fracas, all the other pets ran to spectate. The 3 dogs followed along after the flying furball, like the townspeople in A Quiet Man. Only none of them proffered a stick 'to beat the lovely lady'. The 2 other cats ran around the deck, like baseball spectators in the nosebleed section, just itching to move down and sit behind the plate. Snuggles wedged herself under the deck of that wooden playset, which is about 5 inches off the ground. No other furry beast dared stick his head in there. Tank the beagle crouched down on his elbows, daring her to come out. He is a well-known cat-molester. The other dogs trotted over to the devil and sniffed noses, the doggie equivalent of a high-five. I guess we know who dwells at the bottom of the pecking order.

Speaking of pecking (I was dying to end that with -ers instead of -ing, but don't want that kind of traffic around my Mansion), HH called me on the way to the movie to report that he and The Pony had seen something in a field on the county road by the low-water bridge. According to HH, it was some kind of large bird with white behind its head, bright fiery orange eyes, black body, around 4-5 feet tall, ostrich wings, and a straight black flamingo neck. Wow. Too bad he didn't write the Seinfeld episode where they all try to meet at the movies and describe each other to the ticket-taker. My personal favorite was George: 'Humpty-Dumpty with a melon head'. But the #1 son prefers Jerry: 'horse face with flaring nostrils'. Kramer the 'hiptster doofus', and Elaine the 'frying-pan face, big wall of hair' bring up the rear. Anyhoo, The Pony corroborates the story. He adds, "I knew it wasn't a turkey because its neck was long." Maybe they've discovered a new Jersey Devil. Or maybe it's an emu that got away. People on the back side of our compound, near the other county road, used to raise them around the time The Pony was born. HH says he got a picture on his phone. That should be interesting. HH has glasses but doesn't wear them. The Pony brought home a letter from school that he failed his vision test at 20/30 and 20/80. Methinks of Seinfeld again, when George saw Jerry's girlfriend kissing Cousin Jeffrey, but it turned out to be a woman kissing a horse. I can't wait to get a gander at that photo.

That's EMU. Not EMO. Don't even get me started there. I've got enough of them in one class to start my own...well...whatever you would start if you had a lot of emos. Whatever that may be, it wouldn't be pleasant. Laws, NO! Not like IMO's. M-O-O-N. That spells, "That's some good pizza, that IMO's." Even if my next-to-next-door teaching buddy calls it 'Velveeta on cardboard.' She's not renowned for her taste. Let's leave it at that.

And my little blog, too.


Stewed Hamm said...

I can't elaborate enough on the theme of how godawfully disgusting Imo's pizza is. Therefore, I won't... but let's pretend I did, and it was damn clever.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I happen to enjoy Imo's. But only if it is eaten on the premises. It is terrible if you take it home, or get it delivered. I doubt they even have delivery service.