Down The Road To Inappropriateville

I returned to school this morning to see what the sub dragged in. She is the one who, a couple years ago, took my classes outside for a walk around the school instead of proceeding with the lesson I laid out for her. Oh, and she rearranged the desks, and told the class dirty jokes. It was OK, though, because she told them, "Don't tell your teacher." Which was the first thing they did when they saw me. I told the principal in Basementia about it. I have not had that sub again since. Until yesterday.

This time, all seemed to go as planned. The stacks of assignments had been graded as I requested. There was a note for each class with absences and tardies and absentee slips signed, and a comment on the assignments, and a note about the behavior of each class. Most of them received a comment of "Good class". One had, "They behaved well. For freshmen." One did not have any comment. I thought perhaps it was due to "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." The kids disagreed. "What do you mean, 'no comment'? She said she was leaving us a good note. Of course, she was lined up at the door right behind us, with her purse on her shoulder, when she said it."

The most puzzling was a comment she left for my after-lunch class. It seems a bit inappropriate. I had to read it three times. You decide: "Boys are flirtatious."

Okaaayyyyy. Bunnies are soft. What is that comment supposed to mean. Was she giving me some wisdom for life? What does she want me to do about it? "All right, you guys. The next time a sub is here, I'd better not hear that any of you were flirtatious! Or I will write you up! Now, all of you get out pencil and paper, and write a letter to Ms. Sub saying you are sorry for being flirtatious." I don't get it. What am I supposed to do, say, "Well...the boys are never flirtatious with ME!" Which makes her into a goddess, I suppose. Am I dense? What did she mean by this comment? Perhaps, "I am OH SO HOT that 14-year-old boys flirt with me." It is just kind of creepy, the more I think about it. But that's not the worst.

I didn't tell the class what it said. I asked, "What kind of report do you think your class got?" And they said, "Whyyyy......?" One girl had already tipped me off in the hall. She thought it was funny. "You know Sleeper? Well, he had to check his phone to see if it was turned off, and he didn't want to get in trouble, so he held it on his leg down behind the desk. The sub got up and walked around and looked at him. He told her he was just turning it off, and she said, "Oh, I'm glad that's all. I thought you were taking a picture of something you shouldn't." It went downhill from there. I won't embarrass us with the details. But allegedly, Ms. Sub said some things that 14-year-old boys should only hear from each other. Not from a female legal adult. Not from anyone in a position of authority. I think perhaps I should take that note to the principal tomorrow and ask his opinion. And mention the allegations. Just to CMA. And the school's A. Because I would not want my son in that classroom. Oh, the kids thought it was funny. Nobody seemed offended or embarrassed. But that class wouldn't. There are others who would. It is my job to protect them.

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, superhero. Avenging inappropriateness one sub at a time.