Sunday, November 18, 2007

Money Matters

WooHoo! Today was casino day. I go at least twice a year whether I need to or not. Don't go thinkin' HM was a big winner due to her enthusiasm. Of course I wasn't. But I could have lost a lot more. I was careful in cashing out my winnings and not playing them over and over. I still came home with less than I started with, but considering the amount of money I ran through that machine, I recouped a tidy sum. Of course, I gave HH and the boys $200 for gambling and gaming and eating. Not apiece! Collectively! Sweet Gummi Mary, do you think HM is manufacturing meth as a hobby? And don't be thinkin', "How sweet! HM loves her family OH SO MUCH. She gave them the gambling winnings right out of her casino purse."

We have no cash money right now. That's why I shared my years of accumulated gambling winnings. I don't get paid until Tuesday, and the checkbook is bare. I opened it, and a tumbleweed would have rolled out, if it hadn't been for that cobweb that snared it. Since we are cash poor for a few days, and the Pony's hospital and doctor bills arrived Friday and are due Monday, and the county tax bills arrived Friday and Saturday...we did what any respectable Hillbilly would do: HIT THE CASINO!

I have issues with those medical people. How can a bill be dated Nov. 5, and arrive 60 miles away on Nov. 16? With a due date of Nov. 18? That's no way to do business. It reminds me of when HH had his neck surgery on Dec. 23 a few years ago. That's a whole 'nother issue, him scheduling it for that day, and me the lone Santa with no helpers to carry and lift and stay awake for companionship. Everybody take Notes to Selves: muscle relaxers are not recommended for Santa's lookout. Anyhoo...we got the bill for HH's surgery, and it was somewhere around $1000 if I remember right, and I called to ask about the dates of mailing and past due-ness, because our payment would have been late even if I mailed it on the day we got the bill. The lady said not to worry, just wait until the next notice came showing 30 days past due. And then, when the next one came, they only billed us for HALF the amount if we planned to pay in full. Go figure. Insurance is such a racket. I told HH, "What do they think we are, paupers? Why did they cut that bill in half?" and HH said, "Write the check NOW and send it in. I don't care what they think--that's 50% off!"

The Pony's hospital bill had a note that you may get a discount if you pay by credit card. You can bet your big fat butt (sorry, I'm projecting) that I'm calling them tomorrow. Who cares if it's paid by check or credit card? We pay our credit card off each month anyway. Yeah. Credit card. We have two, but only use one. At one time we had about eight, and it was too confusing. I talked HH out of that right away. Maybe I can wrangle a deal with the Pony-fixers. Don't cost nothin'.

I'm not actually worried about finances, or I would have spent my gambling money on bills. HH will be getting paid after I do, and he will get his bonus at the end of the year, and I have been socking away money for Christmas since last Christmas. My two crowns since September, and three pairs of glasses for the Pony and I, have whittled away at the cushion we usually carry in checking. Thank the Gummi Mary, I have a double-secret cushion that I don't even tell HH about. (Let's just say I could still write that car salesman a $1000 deposit check if I was so inclined.) HH doesn't need to know that, but he might worry if he sees the balance of $15.32.

That's why I don't let him carry the checkbook.

(Tomorrow, I will tell some casino tales.)

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