Friday, April 25, 2008


I suppose you all know what this means. It's not an expression we use much around Hillmomba. SSDD. I did not even know what it meant until several years ago, when I read it in Stephen King's Dreamcatchers. A book which did not entrance me, by the way. When the most memorable things about it are the expressions 'SSDD' and 'sh*t weasels', the author has missed his mark. Oh, and in case you live near Hillmomba, and are not much of a reader, SSDD stand for 'same sh*t, different day'. You're welcome.

This was my roundabout way of telling you not to get your hopes up for an exciting barn-burner of a blog post. I don't have the raw material with which to work. I fear that I am even losing my desire to end sentences with prepositions.

The #1 son has gone to a boy/girl birthday party that is supposed to last from 7:00 to midnight. What were the parents thinking? I know that my boy is not staying until midnight. 9:30 will have to suffice. He chose that time on his own. I told him that I'd better not hear any rumors about him or the party. I have heard a-plenty about these kinds of shindigs. I certainly hope there is close supervision. I wouldn't want any of the kids 'punished with a baby'. You wouldn't believe what goes on at these things. I don't want to know what goes on. I have heard more than I ever want to hear. My boy assured me that "She is a really religious girl. She is always wearing 'Jesus' T-shirts. We're all responsible kids. We're the best-behaved ones in school." I asked him about a specific kid. "I can't believe that he's one of the most responsible." #1 thought for a moment. "Well...he's in the top 20." That's certainly a rousing endorsement.

Now here's a dirty little secret. I was told by a student who accompanied one of these kids on a trip that the kid asked some older students to buy him a Victoria's Secret thong. I have no idea what plans he had for the thong. But if a kid this age thinks about owning his own thong, somebody needs to be a-chaperoning that party.

The Pony and I are holding down the Mansion. HH drove #1 to the gala affair, and planned to stay in town somewhere to save on gas. That's the state of the economy, people. The Hillbillies are conscious of how much gas they are putting into their LSUVs.

We are in a recession. But I just might take my Bush money and my tax refund money and use it to pay the taxes on a new LSUV. Not to stimulate the economy, or to keep up with the Joneses, but to get myself to work and back. My current LSUV is on its last legs. Every day, the 'service engine soon' light mocks me. Something is wrong in the fuel filter or fuel line, because the old gray SUV surges and slightly stalls when she pleases. The brakes have been squealing for a year, ever since HH 'fixed' them, and now they don't completely grab. It runs half-way to hot, even when the weather is cool. The clock/radio power shuts itself down during the school day, so that when I come out after school, it is 9:30 a.m. with no tunes. The dadblasted thingy is going to blow sky-high one of these days. Something is amiss. My LSUV is a 2001. This is 2008. This is the oldest car I have ever driven.

I'm ready for a change.


DPA said...

It beats walking. You don't even have to stand in line at the drive thru of the bank, breathing exhaust fumes while you wait to cash your tiny first year teacher check.

Tim has an SUVish car-- a dodge magnum. It's nice, but it likes the gas. My Sentra is a blessing right now. If gas makes it much higher, we'll both be using the motorcycles as our primary vehicles.

Hillbilly Mom said...

OK, I know you're not a stalker, because that drive-thru walk-up year was my SECOND year of teaching, when I earned $8,700.

I really miss my 1990 cherry-red Toyota Corolla, my favorite car of all time.

Redneck Diva said...

Hey, at least you don't own a DIESEL! Paul can't afford to drive that sucker anymore, but we'd get about $2.58 if we wanted to trade it in. Geesh. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm so glad he bought that Harley.

Btw, how the heck are ya? I don't get out much anymore these days. Oh, you'd noticed? I'm not being a snob, honest - I don't read ANYONE. I'm trying harder. Don't hate me because I'm a non-reader/commented. Or because I'm beautiful.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I saw that I had 5 comments awaiting moderating, and I thought to myself, "That Redneck Diva has been peeping in the Mansion windows again!" I'll just have to hate you because you have a uniboob, and because you allowed Miss Ann to coin the term 'waistboobs' after reading one of your posts.