Thursday, April 10, 2008

Random Thought Thursday 4/10/08

Thank the Gummi Mary I am home sweet home, and not displaced again at my mom's house. The rivers are on the rise again. Let the randomness begin!

I really, really don't want to overhear my students talking about a girl who didn't even know she was pregnant, and drank all the way through, and just happened to be at the doctor's office upstairs at the hospital to see why her throat was really, really sore, and went to the bathroom, where her water broke, and then got put in the hospital to deliver her baby, where she pushed so hard that it broke a blood vessel in her eye, and then when she held the baby the next day, tried to feed it a french fry and a slice of pickle. But I was glad to overhear one of the voices of reason ask, "Lucky that she just happened to be at the hospital when it her water broke. What was she planning to do, have it in the woods and not tell anybody?"

A small brown duckling, all alone in a pool of muddy water that is slowly seeping over the dastardly concrete bridge that kept me out of my Mansion last flood, is a sad, sad thing. Where is Mama Duck? Where are the ducky siblings? And why are you diving, little ducky, like there are fish in that there puddle?

Hey! When the county highway people put an orange-and-white striped barrel in the middle of the road, a large SUV will still fit around it if you drive really slow. Same thing with an orange, diamond-shaped road sign on a little metal stand, that says 'Road Closed'. I think not.

A student announced that one of his most embarrassing moments was when, at a funeral home, his brother declared loudly that "This place stinks like someone died in here!"

If you offer a student a band-aid for a burn on her finger inflicted by a curling iron that only yesterday she described as 'dry' and not in need of a band-aid, she will take TWO when she sees that they are Scooby Doo band-aids in a Rugrats metal tin, and another kid will decide that HE needs two for himself for various nicks and scabs. However, if all you have to offer are those brown, boring, band-aids, the students will merrily drip their life fluids all over the desks and floor rather than cover them with such uncool bandages.

When I left school today, after hours of downpour, I saw a sleeve hanging out my back door. My Little Pony had scooted out of that door when I dropped him off at Elementia, and part of the #1 son's jacket was left to dangle and strangle all day. It's not The Pony's fault. I tell #1 every day to sit up that seat, rather than recline it like an astronaut on the launch pad. His answer? "Well, if The Pony would lose some weight, he would be able to slide out the back door easier." Yeah. If The Pony loses any weight, he will be non-existent.

If you leave your class to go to a meeting, and the principal sits in, and then fetches Mrs. NotACook to relieve HIM, you can be sure that one of your students will do something to embarrass you, in spite of the 4-page test over Newton's Laws of Motion that you left with them to keep them busy. Something embarrassing, perhaps, like state that she's had the shot so she will be ONE LESS to get cervical cancer, but she doesn't understand why her twin brother didn't have to get one. And the principal will leave on that note, having requested that Mrs. NotACook field that question.

Just so you know, the alternate title to this post was 'Sleeve, Sleeve, Sleeve, Hangin' Out My Backdoor'. Yes. I'm a CCR fan.

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