Monday, April 14, 2008

Perturbing With HM

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is a bit perturbed. Yes, that's a stretch, isn't it, but play along. She went to make copies during her plan time for the class that comes right after. She's like that. Why do anything ahead of time that you can put off until the last minute, she asks. At least she's not as bad as the teacher who always signed up for chaperone duty at the last dance of the year. "You never know what could happen by then," she said. But getting back to Mrs. HM, because it IS all about HER, you know...the copier was busy. Not like it had a planner, and was scheduled for meetings every 30 minutes, or was writing the Great American Copier Novel, or was gossiping with its BFF the FAX machine down the hall. Busy. Like, printing out 85 sets of some such thing sent via computer from somebody's room busy. And it was only serving #17.

So Mrs. HM went back to her room to grade a class of science assignments and a class of math assignments, and look at what she plans to do tomorrow 1st-4th hours, and write on the board some information vital to what she THOUGHT was going to be today's 7th hour assignment. And what to her wondering eyes should appear (wondering, not wandering--Mrs. HM does not have a wonky eye. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Forest Whitaker has done pretty well with that Wanderer of his, even though HM does hold a grudge against him, what with him playing that character on ER who tried to kill sweet, sweet Luka, even though in real life he is kind of a lowlife, what with having that unwedlocked baby with a Croatian woman while he was married to a regular wife, and allegedly having a simultaneous affair with his co-star who shall not be named, but if you watch ER I'm sure you know who I'm talkin' about, wink, wink. The real Luka, not Forest Whitaker. I don't know if Forest has any Croatian babies or mistresses.) but a colleague at the classroom door holding a sheaf of papers. Does anybody actually used that term any more? Sheaf? It seems so black-and-white-TVish.

With the sheaf waving under her nose, Mrs. HM was asked, "Did you print these? Because the copier was really jammed up, and this is what I got out of it." To which Mrs. HM replied, in no uncertain terms, "No. I do not use the copier for a printer. I use my own printer, then go copy it. That is not mine." What she wanted to add, was, "I do not copy large amounts of worksheets from my room. It disrupts people who walk all the way to the teacher workroom to run copies. From my room, I do not know if the copier is jammed. I do not know if the copier is out of paper. I do not know if somebody came in and just needs ONE copy, in a hurry, which I could stop for."
I have no idea whose copies those were, but they were running when I went in to make copies. At least 17 of them had run.

So Mrs. HM switched her plans in mid-stream, and gave some book questions instead of her reinforcement worksheet. It was about mutations, in case you care, and if you do, that's more than my students can claim. When she went back after school at the stroke of 4:20 to run the 12 paltry copies reinforcing mutations, the copier was out of toner. Toner is not stored in the teacher workroom. The office was locked up tighter than Mabel's metal cabinets full of booty such as extra-large glue sticks. So Mrs. HM went without her copies. Again.

Is this any way to run a business?


DPA said...

I feel ya, HM. I feel ya. I just love pouring my soul into a good lesson plan when I already know there's a 97% chance that something is going to come along and make it impossible to execute.

I almost never make my copies ahead of time. If I do, I sometimes lose them. I'm organized like that. So unless I have a huge amount that requires me to use the school's "fill out this paper and give us 24 hours" policy, I go to the AC's office the morning of.

If it makes you feel any better about the toner being locked up, I ordered toner for the laser printer in my classroom in January, and have not received it.

The school year is almost over, and our copy woes will be over too.

Hillbilly Mom said...

You bring back memories of the time I worked in a school with a copy clerk. She had a little closet with a half door, and all you had to do was fill out a slip of green paper with the amount and when you needed them, and she would run the copies and put them in your mailbox.

That was almost as sweet as the school that granted teachers a duty-free lunch. Now, I have neither. But I make more than $18,000 per year.