Wednesday, September 26, 2007

My Little Pony Saves The Day

The overpriced school fundraiser merchandise has arrived. I wrote out a check for $172.50 so my boy could win a Flying Hog and a Choir Hoodie. Thank the Gummi Mary that it wasn't all MINE. Thanks to the generous spirit of Mabel, her mathie crony, a distant relative who is a colleague, Grandma, a Church Lady, and My Sister-the-Mayor's-Wife, I got off easy on this one. Oh, and My Little Pony also ponied up a hefty amount of allowance to buy his grandma a heart necklace, an angel pin, and a chocolate angel (for himself). That boy is downright spiritual, by cracky!

Today was duty day, which brought a mad rush at departure time, what with the Absentminded Professor decreeing that we play a rousing game of Where's My Backpack. He swore that he left it in the LSUV overnight. I do remember him declaring when we pulled into the hanger--I mean garage--that "I am just going to leave my pack out here since I don't have any homework." He searched the Mansion. He searched the car. He looked high (on his top bunk) and low (in the basement) for that thing. No dice.

On the way to school, I asked if there was anything he needed in it.

" planner."
"Do they check it every day?"
"Nooo...but I can't leave the classroom without it."
"Why do you need to leave the classroom? Go to the bathroom between classes."
"I won't be able to go to the Tech Guy's office to set up the new laptops."

(It's a special deal they have going on. They let him out of P.E. every other day to work with the Tech Guy. The only thing is, he will have to take P.E. all year to get his semester's credit. He is all for it.)

"They have extra planners for sale, don't they? In case kids lose theirs?"
"Yeah. $3.50."
"I will give you the money, but I'm taking it out of your allowance."
"No. I don't want another planner."

Grandma, the PhoneLingerer, called.

"Hey, Grandma. Will you look in your car and see if I left my backpack in there after school when you stopped by?"
"Honey, there's no backpack in my car."
"Let me talk to Grandma. When I bring you the Baur Baur Baur dog this weekend, I'm including the Absentminded Professor."
"I can only keep ONE. Oh, he's just a kid. Can I run over to school and see if his backpack is in your room and take it to him?"
"You don't have to go to that trouble. He's got to learn responsibility."
"Oh, he's just that age. I'm getting dressed and coming over."
"I have duty. I won't even be in the room."
"Will you have time to look and call me it it's there?"
"I'll try. We're already behind."

I disposed of the PhoneLingerer. I dumped the Professor at his school. I got rid of My Little Pony. I rushed in, turned on the computer, and taunted the USA map which had remained on the wall overnight. There was NO backpack. I called the PhoneLingerer.

"There's no backpack here."
"Oh, my. I'm driving out to your house to look for it."
"That's wasting your time. He already looked."
"I don't mind. If it's OK with you."
"Suit yourself. I have duty. Gotta go."

When I got time to call her back at 1:30, she reported that there was no backpack to be found. The Pony got off the bus after school. We discussed the backpack issue. The boy is very observant.

"Well, he had it when he came in the room yesterday."
"He says he took it out to the LSUV when Grandma stopped by, and then he brought in the Lappy pack."
"I know when we left, he only had Lappy."
"Where else could it be? He went to the computer lab, but didn't stay. Maybe you can run down there and check."
"Wait a minute. Maybe he left it in the ParkingSpaceStealer's room when he went to get a slushie! I think he was wearing it when he came in and you gave him the money."
"Run down there and look. We have to go pick him up with his fundraiser stuff."

I hear the pitter-patter of tiny hooves coming back up the hall. It's a LONG way to the ParkingSpaceStealer's room. Almost as far as it is to Mabel's room, but in the other direction, and without that body trapped in a locker on the way. The Pony pranced in, pleased as punch. He was saddled with the Professor's backpack.

"I FOUND it! And the ParkingSpaceStealer was just leaving!"

I love My Little Pony.


Mean Teacher said...

taunted the USA map which had remained on the wall overnight.

My minutes of experience have taught me that hot glue is the only solution to this problem.

Stewed Hamm said...

I bet chocolate angels don't taste as good as come to jesus cake... especially if you have to buy it yourself.

Hillbilly Mom said...

That's a new one for me. Of course, back in my day, nobody ever heard of hot glue.

Yes, I'm thinking you're right on this one.

Stewed Hamm said...

Is that glue that you bought off of the back of a truck, or that your brother-in-law who "knows a guy" acquired for you?

The school system is a veritable den of iniquity.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I can't speak for the origin of Meanie's glue, but I would like to thank you for increasing my word power. I ain't payin' ya, though. Iniquity, indeed.