Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Crutch Stops Here

It's one of those cases of good news, bad news. You don't know whether to laugh or cry. HH says he found a solution to my LSUV back door issue. No, it's not a replacement for the hydraulic thingies that hold up the door. We're talking about HH here. Pay attention! He came home from my grandma's house with the most scathingly brilliant idea. NOT! His exact words were: "I found a crutch for holding your back door open." So of course I had to ask, "Are we talking an actual crutch, here? Or is it something I can use as a crutch until you get it fixed." And HH said, "It's a crutch. It's just right. You prop it on the bumper and it holds the door up."

Arrgghh! That's just what I need. Another reason for people to ridicule me. I can SO see me arriving at school each morning, and propping open my back door with a crutch while I gather my coat and bag of work I didn't do at home. Can you shout, "Loser!" as you drive by? Why don't I just wear jeans under a dress already? Am I the only one who does not see this as normal behavior? HH acts like there are people all over the place propping open the back doors of their LSUVs with crutches. Maybe I'll get him a bedpan to carry his lunch in.

Three weeks until Christmas break. I am cleaning my house on the installment plan. Each day, I do one little thing. For example, today My Little Pony and I cleaned out one shelf of the big pantry. Yesterday, we cleaned out four shelves of the small pantry. No 4-year-old ranch dressing will ever be served to my guests! The way I figure, I only have 19 more jobs to do until Christmas break. Then, I might do two jobs a day until Christmas. Of course, I will take that day off. And after that, well, who cares if the house is clean? No need to answer. It's a rhetorical question. I, myself, do not care. I will lounge around and enjoy my mini-vacation.

The school year is almost over, you know.

3 comments:

DPA said...

How much could the hydraulic thingies possibly cost?? The worst part would be giving up your LSUV for a day or three.

Cazzie!!! said...

Yayyy for vacation time, yayy no more school..."No more teachers no more books, no more teachers dirty looks, when the teacher rings the bell, grab your bags and RUN LIKE HELL"...ooops, lol hahha too funnny!!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

DPA,
$60 for the pair. They are just door holder-uppers. At least HH can fix a thing or two on the autos. I'll be eating my words if the door flies open while I'm driving.

Cazzie,
You guys are so advanced! I never heard the part about the bell and the running like The Devil's Playground. You are OH SO COOL!