Tuesday, July 10, 2007

We Can Rebuild Him

The Gamey re-animation is in progress. FedEx arrived bright and early at the stroke of 9:30, delivering the second restore disk for Windows XP Media Center Edition 2005, the Compaq version. Funny thing...this time, I didn't have to sign for it. And this time, it didn't come in a nice plastic CD holder, but in a Ziploc bag. And methinks it was a generic Ziploc bag, at that. So all the livelong day, Gamey has been cramming his hard drive with bits of info. Gamey has also been hooked up to life-support with a giant black heavy-duty extension cord about the thickness of a kielbasa, and is still attached to two surge suppressors. Now if we can just connect with an afternoon lightning bolt, we can shout: "HE LIVES! GAMEY LIVES!"

I am ready for the Gamey vigil to end. My #2 son has been without Gamey for almost the entire summer. He lives for that thing. He spent all his afterschool time on it. Now, he lies listlessly on the living room couch. He does not even enjoy Poolio anymore. His GameBoy, GameBoy DS, and DS Lite are gathering dust on the end tables. I think he is losing his will to game.

And the nursemaiding of Gamey alone is enough to drive me crazy. #2 son and I peacefully coexist in my basement lair. #1 is an annoying intruder. He's kind of like the John Leguizamo of 12-year-old computer-repairing sons. Anything he says, which is plenty, has a smart-alecky edge to it. And he interrupts constantly, spouting info of which I would happily remain ignorant. The other day, he set up Lappy on the side pull-out thingy of the large metal ex-office desk that is the final resting place of Gamey. I was happily blogging, creative juices flowing from my fingertips into the keys of Crashy, much like foot-sweat flowing out of #1 son dripping onto the floor, when I heard: "I know you hate Lappy."

This was from Lappy himself. In that creepy, monotone 'text to speech' voice. It was neverending. I lost my concentration. Imagine, if you will, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom arguing with Lappy:

I know you secretly hate Lappy.
No I don't.
Yes, you do.
I'm trying to do something here.
Oh no you're not. Don't you like Lappy?
Not right now.
Lappy has not done anything to you.
Lappy is driving me crazy.
No he's not.
Yes, he IS.
Lappy is just a machine.
He's going to be a broken machine if he can't shut his flapping pie-hole.
You should like Lappy.
Why is that?
Because he keeps me quiet.
Not right now.
Talk to Lappy.
LEAVE ME ALONE!
I know you hate Lappy.

Some days, I wish for adult contact. I do not like losing a battle of wits with a machine. A machine operated by a 12-year-old.

5 comments:

Cazzie!!! said...

Well matter-0-faaaaccct, our Xbox has been on the blink or a few months and my 8 and 10 yr olds are going mad without it. What I have done is gotten them outside playing sports and learning a fe things. But with Winter well and truley here I am striving to cntact the xbox repair guy and getit going again. He said he'd tinker with it for free if I recommend people to him.
I know how it is 4 sure.
So, Fed Ex have lifed their game hey..amaing to be on tie right?

Just A Girl said...

I don't know what my family would do with out the PS2 OR THE Wii...

Here's hoping my girl will play with barbie's forever. I could handle a made up doll's voice much better than I could a computer voiced 12 year old.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Cazzie,
At the beginning of summer, the boys would go out and shoot at things (hopefully not each other) with their BB guns, and play Frisbee, and use the metal detector, and race remote-control cars, etc. Now they are housebound for some odd reason, unless Poolio can lure them out.

Fed Ex has improved. A couple years ago, it took them 3 weeks to deliver a pair of bowling shoes. I don't know where they went for 3 weeks. The tracking site said they had been shipped, and then they must have taken a Rip van Winkle nap on the way here.


Gal,
The Wii has declined in popularity since Christmas. Every now and then they play it.

The kids in the computer lab at school used to get in a text-to-speech mood. They would all be talking to each other. It was freaky. Thank the Gummi Mary, it wasn't my class.

Redneck. Diva. said...

BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Your conversation with Lappy cracked me UP!

Telling a computer to shut its piehole...classic, Hillbilly Mom. Classic.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
Lappy is quite the conversationalist. He knows how to push my buttons. I can not allow myself to be bested by a machine.