Friday, July 13, 2007

I Call Shenanigans

Actually, I call: "STOP the shenanigans!" That's because I want my children to be those freakish nerds who talk like they're living in the 1950s. Yes, every evening, when I'm trying to get supper ready, and my #1 son is inventing new ways to torment his little brother, I call: "STOP the shenanigans!" And he replies, "I will NOT stop shenaniganing. In fact, I guarantee you I WILL. Shenan. AGAIN!" So much for my parenting skills.

His method of shenaniganing the night before he made the new career choice of 'ghosthunter' was, again, to torture his 9-year-old brother. My Little Pony is none too fond of the dark. He does not like to be alone in the dark. In fact, he sleeps on the couch, with the TV on, unless HH has turned it off with his iron hand. Early in the evening, #1 son lured #2 out of the house for something. Perhaps to get in Poolio first, or get something out of the LSUV, or give the dogs a treat. The specifics escape me. But #1 came to me with a walkie-talkie and said, "I'm going to put this under the couch cushion. Then at 10:00, I am going to say his name on the other walkie-talkie while I'm in the basement. He will be scared out of his mind."

He planted the instrument of torture under the cushion. All evening, he walked around with the other walkie-talkie, making it beep and crackle. That was just to desensitize My Little Pony from those noises, in case he heard that before his name was called by the Evil Spirit of the Couch. Around 10:10, #1 came down to the basement. He said, "We'll wait a few minutes, so he won't think we've planned something." Then he went over by the NASCAR bathroom, right under the couch area, and said quietly, in his newly deep voice, "Number Two". From upstairs, we heard My Little Pony exclaim, "Number One! You stop that NOW! I know it is you! And there's a walkie-talkie up here somewhere!" Yeah. He didn't sound very convinced, so I made #1 confess right away.

I find it fitting that the very next night, #1 was frightened by a short, white blur that he thought was My Little Pony, when the little prancer was actually asleep on the couch. Touche'.


Mean Teacher said...

That #1 is delightfully mean!

Hillbilly Mom said...

I'm just thankful he's well-behaved at school. I wish he would use his powers for good instead of evil at home.

Redneck. Diva. said...

RIFLMAO!! "I will shenan. Again."

Where do your kids come up with these?? Precious little whippersnappers, they are.

Want me to send my toy-throwing dead old lady over to STOP THE SHENANIGANS???

Hillbilly Mom said...

Good to know. You're back IN the floor where you belong.

At least my kids don't call me a d*mn Baptist!

Please send that ol' gal this way. The small white figure was seen entering the bathroom again last night.