Monday, May 19, 2008

Testing, Testing...

I gave my 'Favorite for a Day' test today. It wasn't for real points--just for participation. The results were quite interesting. Out of 52 questions, the high score was 38. The other winning scores were 35, 34, 34, 30. The lowest score was 0. There was only one of those, but about eight kids scored 5. My #1 son took it himself last night, and he didn't even know all the answers.

Mabel took a copy. If you haven't answered yours yet, Mabel, don't read on. You will have unfair advantage. Here are some of the more humorous answers.

If not a teacher, I would be...(the correct answers were lawyer, writer, comedian)
ditch-digger (I'm strong)
turd tank cleaner (I can't smell)
scientist (I'm a genius)
singer (they obviously haven't heard me sing)
doctor (who sells malpractice insurance?)
bum (such a vote of confidence)
clown (I concur)
pilot (I'm afraid of heights)
cop (that would be work)
astronaut (that heights thingy again)
janitor (an honest night's word)
racecar driver (too many speeding tickets, I guess)
scuba diver (I feel claustrophobic already)
hobo (a bum on a train)
billionaire (now you're talkin')
Ray Charles impersonator (umm...not sure where this came from)
nurse (I'd be technically proficient despite certain attitude issues)
acrobat (I can't see it)
dancer (don't think so--at least they didn't specify 'lap')
model (I'm OH SO PRETTY)
actress (I am good at acting like they don't drive me crazy)
engineer (toot toot--definitely not the bridge-building kind)
bull rider (9 seconds is entirely too long to work)
skater (I broke my arm at 9 while roller skating around Grandpa's house)

What honor did I earn in High School? (correct answer-valedictorian)
a diploma (wow--what an honor)
geekest (I could see it)
Val of Victorian (a right famous wench, I was)
most smartest (yep)
saludivictorian (perhaps--it sounds important)
none (another vote of confidence)
honorable discharge at graduation (has a bit of a negative connotation)
saluet victorian (salute me, darn it!)
nerdiest (I think we covered this)
most talkative (what are you saying?)
perfect attendance (not even a diploma?)

My favorite joke about me is 'You are so old....' (right answers-your Social Security number is '1' OR if somebody told you to act your age, you'd die)
you saw the dinosaurs (no, we did not co-exist)
you rode dinosaurs not saddled right to school (and my mama dressed me funny)
yes, you are (no need to get personal)
you look wrinkley (hey! no need to get personal, I said)
you act young (spoken like a true favorite)
you are skin and bones (don't I wish)
you have no friends (that hurts)
you saw Jesus (no, just the Gummi Mary)
you make my Great Grandma feel young (say 'hi' to Gammy)
we just stopped counting (what, the breaths I have left?)
that your face makes ME look old (sorry about that)
end of story (I'm as good as dead, it appears)

What gift do I give the principal and secretary and my best friend Mabel every Christmas...(correct answer-Chex mix)
cards (logical)
a donut (I'm cheap, it seems, and they all have to share)
cookies (too much work)
Lotto tickets (good guess)
a kiss under the mistletoe (that is not allowed at school)
gum (heh, heh. That's what I give the kids as prizes)
socks (I'm not your grandma)
money (I like to keep that for myself)
box of Skittles (not very festive for the season)
Flubber (this is not your Christmas wish list)
a candy cane (too simple)
a kiss on the cheek (that's how rumors get started)
macaroni and cheese (I am not a cook)
snow globe (it's the thought that counts)
cheap ones (that's a black mark on my character, by cracky!)

That is all we have time for tonight. More tomorrow. Please come back. Please.

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