Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Bitter End

And now comes the time to put the "All About Mrs. Hillbilly Mom" test to bed. Whoa! Don't weep so loudly. A snot bubble might come out your nose. This final installment brings you the musings of "Vivian", who marches to her own drummer. I am thinking of hiring my own drummer to multi-task as bodyguard, should my restraining order against Vivian be violated. Here is Vivian's manifesto, aka her answers to my test. Remember, this test was all about ME. But methinks Vivian did not get the memo.

Another job I have had besides teacher is...stalkin' Vivian.

When not busy molding the minds of tomorrow's citizens, I like to...
stalk Vivian.

The WORST thing you can do to make me mad enough to send you to the office is...
say that Vivian is not my favorite.

What gift do I give the principal, secretary, and my best teacher friend every Christmas?
a Vivian cardboard person.

What do I think of roller coasters?
they remind me of Vivian's fast mind

What honor did I earn in high school?
the honor of meeting Vivian

What organization elected me president when I was in high school?
the We Love Vivian club

My husband recently built...
a mannequin of Vivian

One time, I got really mad at my husband, and threw
Vivian at him. After it hit him, he waved it in my face and said, "Thank you. I take that as a compliment."

At a family reunion, my husband bragged, "My son is really smart. He...
knows everything about Vivian, and that's a lot to remember."

A new neighbor threatened to shoot my husband because...
he dropped my cardboard cutout of Vivian.

I am embarrassed because my husband used a
Vivian to build a lean-to on one side of the barn.

When the cargo door of my LSUV would not stay open, my husband gave me a Vivian to prop it up.

I think you can find a theme here. There were 52 questions. Vivian got 14 right. None of them are listed above.


Melina said...

it sounds like something I would've done in school.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I found it humorous, though disturbing. When I stepped up to the microphone to give my awards at the assembly, Vivian shouted, "She stalks me!" I don't really consider her dangerous, but she needs schooling to learn that 'It's All About ME' until she graduates.