Saturday, May 3, 2008

HH Is A Gunshot Magnet

Wednesday evening, HH went down to his little shanty in the woods. The MiniMansion, to him. I have found out that he sits inside and eats chocolate pudding. That's what the boys say. And there was some mysterious pudding in the refrigerator Thursday morning. But this story is not about pudding. It is about HH, a polarizing figure in the neighborhood. Or so it seems.

Here is the tale, straight from the victim's mouth:

I drove the Scout down to my cabin. I was relaxing inside when I heard something on the roof. I thought the wind must be blowing, and some branches had broken off. Then it happened again. I looked outside. It wasn't raining, and it wasn't that windy. Then I heard shooting down toward the LandStealer's sister's place. It finally hit me. Somebody was shooting at my cabin. I jumped in the Scout and took off down the road. It's those people who bought that land next to ours. Two boys were there, about 17 or 18. They were shooting. I roared up their driveway and slammed on the brakes. I was hot! I told them they were peppering my cabin. One of them said, "We're only shooting a shotgun." Like that meant anything. I told him if they did any shooting, it ought to be at that bank of the creek. Their shot was landing on my cabin roof. What if my boys had been outside playing? They saw how mad I was and apologized. They must be related to the guys who bought it. There were no adults there. If it happens again, I'm going to call the Sheriff out here. I went across to talk to the LandStealer's sister, and she said her son had run in and told her, "HH is going down there. And he doesn't look happy!" She said she told him it was about time somebody went over there and talked to them. That's ridiculous. They could have shot someone.

For once, I agree with HH. I wish he had called the Sheriff right then. For all we know, the kids didn't even belong on that land. The #1 son had been riding his bicycle around the field a mere 15 minutes before the shooting. It's about 100 yards from where those kids were shooting to the cabin and our field. There's a hill in between, and woods through the distance to the cabin. They must have been shooting up in the air, or the trees would have stopped the shot. In case you are a city slicker, and don't know what a shotgun is, it fires a little cannister-like thingy full of shot like BBs. It won't kill you from that distance, but it could hurt you.

Hmpf. And those inner-city people think THEY have it rough.


LanternLight said...

This is a reason why warning shots by peace officers are discouraged. You just don't know where the round is going to land.

So HM, is your married name Hatfield?

Hillbilly Mom said...

No. Nor is it 'McCoy'. HH attracts projectiles. Today, he was driving through town and an old man broke HH's car window with a rock thrown by his lawnmower. HH needs a Karma makeover.