Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I Met My Old Lover On The Street Last Night

Don't get your hopes up for some juicy tidbits. This is how I title a post about somebody I haven't seen in a while. There has been one on every incarnation of my blog, methinks.

I met my old lover on the street last night. And by 'lover', I mean an old teaching buddy from about three years ago, who most certainly was not my 'lover', and was likewise most certainly not 'old', and by 'met', I mean that I almost rammed her LSUV with my LSUV as she was entering the McDonald's exit, which I will call the 'street', and hey, what do you know, 'last night' means yesterday around 5:00 p.m. Now that all that is out of the way, let's begin.

I had driven the boys through McDonald's for some tasty nutritious food, and as usual, we pulled aside to let them prepare it freshly. I saw one of the school Big Cheeses pull through and go around the building. After the sweet little worker brought out the wrong order, and #1 took it back in the building, and the person the order was meant for accosted me about what had been in that bag, we obtained the boys' dinner and drove around to the exit. Oh, but I couldn't get out. Some darn fool was trying to come IN the exit. The front end of a large, white SUV poked around the hedge, blocking my way. Other cars were crowding me on my left, edging toward the drive-through speaker. I was trapped in No Mom's Land.

The white LSUV crept closer to the line that was not going to let it in. I flapped my flabby old-lady arms to show that I was TRYING to get out the exit. I saw that it was my old buddy. The boys both shouted, "Don't do that, Mom! It's Mrs. Old Buddy!" Which meant I kept flapping, and she kept shoulder-shrugging like it wasn't HER fault that McDonald's had put an exit where there was an entrance just five minutes ago. She yelled at me to call her. I yelled at her to get out of the way. Then, having kept up my appearance as a roadrageaholic, I shouted, "We must do lunch! I have TALES TO TELL!!!"

As soon as it was out of my mouth, I spied the LSUV of the Big Cheese at the ordering speaker. He's so vain, he probably thinks my tale is about him. Which it totally isn't. I have bigger fish to fry.

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