Inspecting Lunch Shoppers

Today we took the LSUV for an inspection, since he needs a new license by July 1. I swear, it seems like only two years ago we just got him a new license. I really would have rather HH took LSUV, because I think car people are condescending to women. I was afraid they might tell me I needed to have the air in my tires changed, or some such nonsense. But they didn't.

My mom offered to pick us up and take us to lunch, so I didn't have to sit around with my annoying young 'uns waiting for 30 minutes. Or more. HH doesn't know how good he's got it, not having to drag them with him everywhere he goes. One time, when #2 son was about 5 months old, and #1 was 3-and-a-half, HH volunteered to do the weekly grocery shopping. I think he was feeling guilty for taking off work a whole week to 'take care of me' when the doctor put me on bed rest during the 7th month of #2's gestation, and then leaving me alone to go deer hunting every day. Anyhoo, we did our shopping at Aldi's back then, which is like Save-A-Lot, but not as fancy. This was because I wasn't working for a whole year, and ya gotta save a buck where you can.

OK, HH didn't really do the shopping like I did, because I still rode along with him, and waited in the car with #2. So he just had #1 son to deal with, and the groceries. When they came out of Aldi's, I thought HH was going to have a stroke. He was flapping his arms around and saying, "I can't believe you have to bag your own groceries! And you even have to put them back in the cart!" This was back in the day when the Aldi's checkers just punched in the price and shoved the stuff down the counter. You had to grab it and put it in your cart, then take it over to the counter by the wall and bag or box it. At least now, they put it in the cart as they ring it up. HH was truly flustered. "She went so FAST! I was trying to grab the food, and he was running around, and the stuff was piling up, and people were backed up in the line to the frozen food. I can tell you right now, you will never have to bring the kids shopping with you again. I don't know how you do it." Which was the best part, him admitting that it was kind of hard to do all that with TWO kids to watch. Yeah. That promise lasted...umm...one week, until it was time to go shopping again. HH had something he had to do, so I had to take both kids, just like always. But at least he walked one day in half of my mocassins. Ahh...good times.

Anyhoo...my mom wanted to go to a nearby town to the new Rally's. Only the best for the Hillbilly family. We drove through the line where the passenger had to pay. Taking the hint, I got out my money. "Oh, no. I don't mean you have to pay. Here, take this money." You know how that goes. It's just easier to pay and get it over with. I don't need her money. I don't have to shop at Aldi's anymore. We hauled our burgers to the park and had a picnic. #2 son didn't want his toy, a Mr. Potato Head snap-together thingy. #1 said, "Hey, Mom. Remember? It's just like the My Little Pony incident." Yeah. He didn't want that toy, either. So #1 and I played with Mr. Potato Head, while #2 foraged for M & Ms under Grandma's car seats, and bent over into the garbage cans. Sometimes, my mom leaves a bit to be desired from a childcare standpoint. And now we another name to call that boy when we want to tease him. He can be either "My Little Pony" or "Mr. Potato Head". Heh, heh. Don't call that 1-800-BAD-MOM number. I think it was disconnected because it was lacking a digit.

We went back to pick up the LSUV and make a stop at The Devil's Playground. We needed some necessities, like soap, shampoo, hair color, and music CDs. #2 son wanted Tim McGraw, for the 'Last Dollar' song, which if you don't know it, is the one with the lyrics, "One, two, three, like a bird I sing, cause you've given me the most beautiful set of wings..." I'm sure Diva has heard it, because we're living each other's lives, you know. #1 son wanted Rodney Atkins, which I am not so fond of, what with that song about the little boy eating his Happy Meal and swearing like his daddy. Oh, and we got the new Sugarland and Kelly Clarkson. Because we all like Sugarland, and I saw the Crossroads show on CMT Sunday night with Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson, and while I am not a fan of either, that Kelly girl has quite the voice. I bet she could win a contest or something. She wiped the floor with tired old washed out Reba, though I did enjoy their rendition of 'Fancy' at the end of the show. Just for the record, we rarely buy CDs. I think the last one I bought was Sugarland, 'Twice the Speed of Life'. We used to offer to burn HH copies to play on the way to work, but since he was driving that Mercedes that he has since killed, he couldn't, because it only had a tape player, not a CD player. I guess we could offer again, now that he's driving the Too-Big Gas Hog.

Nahhh...we don't want to spoil HH.