HH Almighty

We all went to see Evan Almighty today. It was good. I'll probably see it again. Shame on me for smuggling in movie candy. I can't see paying $3.26 a box for what I can get for $0.99 at Save-A-Lot. There were no annoying kids that sat in front of us. Only the little girl who went out for refills and yanked the door wide open so it stuck and let light flow in pissed me off. I made #2 son go close the door. That's why I had kids, you know. To do those little tasks that I don't want to do.

We had an argument on the way home. As we came out of the theater, there was a large black cloud in the direction of the Mansion. We live about 20 miles from the movie place. I said, "It looks bad over that way. That's right over our house." #1 son concurred. But not HH. Oh, laws no! M O O N. That spells: HH would argue that the moon is made of green cheese and there is a specimin of it in Area 51 if Mrs. HM said it was made of rocks and we never really landed there. He is just that disagreeable. HH said, "Heh, heh. We don't live that way. We live over there." No. We don't. We were driving that way, but that's not where we live. I can't believe he said that. I am the one with a bad sense of direction, but even I knew where our Mansion was located. As we got closer, we spied the tall water tower of the prison. A fool could find our Mansion from there. It is only about four miles back in the woods. HH still disagreed.

As we rounded the curve right in front of the prison, HH said, "OH! I don't see any raindrops falling from that black cloud." Smartypants. We waited. Just before the first low-water bridge, about two miles from the Mansion, raindrops started to hit the windshield of the LSUV. #1 son crowed, "Well! Here's the rain Mom and I were telling you about!" HH had an HH attack. He was livid. "We're not even home yet! I could't care less if it rains, except that we need some rain." Hmm...wonder why he was celebrating victory out on the county road, back by the prison? We weren't home yet then, either. If he didn't care, why did he bring it up? So he started saying how I said it was raining over our house, when all I'd said was that we were under that black cloud. Oh, and it WAS raining at the Mansion, with the roof and grass and driveway all wet as well. So HH said all we ever do is make fun of people, and plopped his butt on the porch with Grizzly, his only friend.

Let's recap. HH was the one who laughed when I said the Mansion was under a dark cloud. Not me. I merely made a statement about the weather. He was the one who made fun of my sense of direction. But I was right this time, by cracky! About something geographical. At least I know how to find my way home.

I swear, if HH said God told him to build an ark, I wouldn't doubt that part of it. But I know he would mess up the date, and we would all wash away the day before HH said the ark had to be finished. Because that's how he rolls. HH is just not known for his attention to detail. And he would probably bring three of each animal, too. Just so he would have a spare.