Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Clean Lappy Rocks

Can someone lock me up for 45 days so I don't have to deal with anybody? I promise I will eat and pee and take or not take meds as requested. Seriously.

The boys worked on beautifying the grounds of the Mansion today. Per order of the commanding officer, King of the Mansion, HH. He told me last night they were to clean up the leaves around the Free Hairwad Hot Tub. His instructions, according to his second-in-command, #1 son, were to 'sweep up the leaves onto the shovel and throw them in the woods'. The woods which are...umm...25 feet from the hot tub. Methinks HH has been reading up on Sisyphus. I suggested that perhaps the leaves could be scooped into a trash bag, which, when full, could be carried to the woods and dumped. Which still doesn't prevent the leaves from blowing back, but which could save a bit of legwork in the initial cleansing round.

Now that the vacation report is over, I have nothing to say. Go figure. I'm going to have to dip into my bag of tricks for tomorrow. Our Wednesday agenda of withdrawing the weekly cash and buying $3 of PowerBall tickets does not a blog post make. We are behind on the PowerBall. It's been almost two weeks since we've bought any tickets. I need to be careful, lest my Hillbilly membership be revoked.

Lappy has been banished from the Mansion. He was sent away on Friday. He may possibly return next week. #1 is lost without him. He has been spotted reading, watching MythBusters, installing a DVD recorder into an expansion slot on his Desky, playing with his Wii, shooting his little brother with Nerf darts, throwing rubber balls at a tower constructed of foam tile squares, watching TBS morning ER episodes with the Queen of Hillmomba, making a virtual Gingerbread Man move about on some kind of computer animation program, showing off his armpit farts, and parceling out leftovers to the dogs so that each gets a fair share. Lappy is sick in the hard drive, and still under his first warrantee, though shipping is not covered. The boy says, "He will be like a brand-new laptop when I get him back!" Yeah. Until he starts fiddling about again. Though he swears that no amount of abuse could have made Lappy's hard drive go bad.

The #2 son has been busy killing people on his Age of Empires computer games. He can hardly tear himself away from the computer, except to jump into Poolio. He and I let Grandma pick us up Saturday to go to the Rock Show. That's when HH was repairing the brakes on the LSUV. The boy took some allowance money, and bought himself an $8 hunk of copper, and a fossilized shark tooth, and three grab bags of assorted minerals. We enjoyed a hot dog/hamburger meal sold by the fundraising junior class from our school, which I didn't know until I went to pay for them. We walked around the mineral museum, which had free admission for the weekend, but didn't watch the lead-mining movie, as we've seen it numerous times. Both my grandpas worked in the lead mines, so it's not so novel as you might imagine for the Hillbilly family. We walked around outside and looked at the displays, and chatted with my grandma, who is a member of the rock club. #2 was going to buy some geodes, 3/$1, but changed his mind, because we can find those thingies around here. A good time was had by all. Except perhaps #1 son, who stayed home, and had to help with the brake project.

And now we're all caught up, except with the casino excursion, which I will get to one of these days.


Redneck. Diva. said...

What with needing money to fall out of my a$$ this week, I need to start playing the lottery. We bought tickets when it was up to some $350million, but got nothing and I took it personally and haven't played since. But...I figure I have a better shot at winning the lottery than of money falling out of my a$$.

Sorry to hear about Lappy's absence...that Lappy is kind of high-maintenance!

Cazzie!!! said...

Armpit farts, LOL.

Hillbilly Mom said...

You're right about Lappy. And I don't expect any money to fall out of HIS a$$, either.

My boys are full of talent!