Tuesday, May 29, 2007

A Pitiot is Born

First cat out of the bag this morning, I harvested a new crop of hangers. No, it's not one of HH's new schemes. The hangers were left in my classroom by Friday night's graduates. Good thing I still had some work to do on that special project. I would not like to come back in August and have to shout, "No wire hangers!" to my 1st hour class.

I need to stop using the term 'special project'. It reminds me of Steve Martin as Navin Johnson talking about his 'special purpose' in The Jerk.

Mabel made a guest appearance in my room this morning. Several. She's not getting guest star money. Oh, laws no! M-O-O-N. That spells no special guest star money for you, Mabel.

Did you know that it's 5 1/2 hours from Branson to the Crater of Diamonds State Park? HH says it is only 2 1/2 hours. Perhaps he means as the crow flies. I don't know where he gets his information. Which reminds me of a new word I made up today. 'Pitiot'. Has a ring to it, by cracky. It means 'a pitiful idiot'. Pitiot. Feel free to use it all you want. I don't get a royalty or anything. I'm booting it out into the public domain to fend for itself. Poor little pitiot.

I need to get crackin' and do some laundry so I can get packin' for our little vacation. No need to wait until the night before like some Divas do. We need some clothes and food and money and books and toys and pillows. That should do it. Oh, and some directions might be helpful. I just want to get it over with, so we can say we went on vacation. Because it's actually more work for me. The pitiots don't have to do anything but load the car and climb in. And say, "Didn't you bring..."

With the price of gas, I almost wish HH's Folly, the diesel Mercedes, had grown to fruition. When he bought his ugly little 1980 pale yellow Mercedes, HH thought it was a diesel. Perhaps that does not bode well for confidence in his car-repair skills. He had plans to run it on old french fry grease. Other guys at his work do that. I think they have a gang, and HH wants to be a cool kid. We could travel the back roads of Missouri and Arkansas, filling up at McDonalds and Chinese restaurants. That's what HH says they do at work. They have the Chinese restaurants save their cooking oil. He says.

HH is going to be late tonight, to go do some fence repair at my grandma's house. It's not that he's such a thoughtful grandson-in-law, but that he really wants the wood stove she has promised him to put in his miniMansion. HH's lateness doesn't really mean anything to us, except that the boys want to stir up the buttwater broth tonight, because they have noodles. Yeah. At The Devil's Playground, that's the first thing they grabbed. Pool noodles. Do you know how annoying it is to push a cart of pool noodles through The Devil's Playground? Take my word for it. You'd need the patience of the Gummi Mary not to mind.

Since the noodlers are growing restless, I'm going to watch the pot of buttwater soup.
Think it will boil?

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Hey, the new stories are up at Diva's writing contest.
Go read and vote at writeinthethickofit.blogspot.com.
Do it now. Don't be a pitiot.

10 comments:

Cazzie!!! said...

Butterwater soup???

LanternLight said...

M-O-O-N, does that spell HillBilly Mom has read The Stand?

MrsCoach2U said...

We plan to take our vacation to Crater of Diamonds about mid-July. Because I apparently have a death wish to take my family somewhere that hard labor is part of the vacation in the middle of July!!!!!!!!! Take lots of pictures, I want to know what I'm in for!

Just A Girl said...

Ohhhh, noodle warning -
the kids like to blow water out of the noodles with their mouths on one end.

I grabbed one of the noodles and my pinky finger slipped into the hole on the end, and a wasp stung the tip of my finger.

After i wiggled and screamed from the sheer agony, we looked and sure enough there was a nest in the noodle.

Redneck. Diva. said...

I am SO using pitiot. Like, all the time from now on. Everyone will be a pitiot and I will be a trend setter and it will be all because of you. I should write you a song or something. But then, that might be kinda creepy.

The Jerk - one of the best movies EVER.

M-O-O-N references crack me up because M-O-O-N spells Diva is easily amused.

I don't save all the packing for the night before. Ask my husband - before we go somewhere the suitcases and bag sit in the living room for a week ahead of time in anticipation. I'll throw a few things in here and there, but then save the heavy duty packing till mere hours before liftoff.

I don't think I could ride in a car run on french fry grease. Methinks you might get a film on ya or something. Or smell like you work in McDonald's.

I, too, have walked through Wal*Mart with a cart full of noodles. The Gummi Mary did not bestow upon me any patience whatsoever and I ended up just using them to whack the children when they got out of line. I thought it would be effective, but instead it wound them up more. M-O-O-N spells Diva ain't the smartest mom around.

Just reading the words "buttwater soup" makes me kind of throw up in my mouth a little.

Mean Teacher said...

TH brought up the diamond crater mine thingie yesterday, and we could not agree on where it is located.

So, where is it located?

The Unrepentant Gallivanter said...

Pillows on vacation. Is that a Midwest thing? Are
we-alls the only ones who take pillows on vacation? I always take mine, and my husband thinks I am nuts for doing so.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Cazzie,
The buttwater soup is just the pool water that HH wouldn't drain from last summer, and dumped a bunch of chemicals in. And now the boys have the noodles, which is quite appropriate, I think, for that big vat of buttwater soup. After swimming, the boys had some hot buttered noodles. The real kind. It's one of their favorite meals.

Lantern,
M-O-O-N. That spells 'The Stand is one of HM's favorite books'.

Mrs.,
We might get there before it is crispy hot this summer. It looks like it's going to rain all week, so maybe some of that dirt will erode and we'll get lucky. They say only 2-3 diamonds are found per day, but my boy would be happy with any type of shiny gem.

Just a Gal,
My kids do that too. I don't know what happened to last year's noodles. I will have to watch the wasp thing. We have them all up under our porch. The kids have never been stung, but my dad had to carry an epipen thingy because he was deadly allergic. Thanks for the heads-up!


Diva,
Drop in again when you have more time to write. ;) Bwahaha!

I knew you would appreciate the PITIOT.

Loved when The Jerk packed his comb and waited at the end of the sidewalk for a ride.

M-O-O-N means 'We're both nuts, by cracky!'

Suitcase? Don't you use those plastic bags from The Devil's Playground? HH had a fit with #2 son wanting to carry a bag of GameBoy games into Harrah's. "We're not carrying a Wal-Mart sack into a nice place like this!" Yeah. We don't get out much.

The car is the color of french fry grease, too.

I can visualize you noodling about in The Devil's Playground. Forget those cardboard Christmas wrap tubes. Noodles are the new whackers.

#2 son swallowed a couple mouthfuls of the buttwater soup yesterday. He threw up a little over the side of Poolio.


Meanie,
It is Crater of Diamonds State Park, near Murfreesboro, Arkansas, in the southwestern part of the state. It's not way far from Hot Springs.

UnGal,
I must take pillows. The boys can sleep in the car, and there are never enough of those flat so-called pillows at the motel.

Stewed Hamm said...

I know I've mentioned it before, but I still get all excited every time new phone books are delivered, because I have a great excuse to quote The Jerk.
(I don't do it while standing next to any cans, though)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Stewerofthehamm,
Glad I could bring a little excitement into your ho-hum life. ;)