Saturday, May 26, 2007

Holiday Weekend Edition

Ahh...yes...the Holiday Weekend Edition. Which looks surprisingly similar to the Hillbilly Mom Lite edition. Enjoy.

Holiday Weekend Edition: A Graduation Ceremony

*Arrived at 5:28 for the 7:00 graduation.
*People were already waiting.
*Mabel arrived soon after.
*Retrieved unironed (mine) and smoky (Mabel's & Ivory's) gowns from cabinet
*Lounged about in the teachers' workroom
*Mabel rifled through Ivory's mailbox for scissors to hack open candy
*Mabel drank a bottle of water she found near the mailboxes
*It was unopened. Mabel may be a thief, but she is a hygienic thief
*Moved to Goody's room to shoot the breeze with cronies
*Gowned up and traipsed out
*Saw Former Crony. Made a flexible lunch date to gossip
*Watched music/picture salute. Barely teared up. Not attached to this group
*Listened to a horrific singer. Could not carry a tune in a bucket
*Talked through ceremony. Softly
*One graduate high-fived the entire front row of school board members
*Marched out. Caught large wad of green Silly String with head
*Mr. S was the intended target. I walk with him every year
*Note to self: demand protection money from Mr. S next year
*Chucked gown in a box. Ran out to beat crowd
*Left a bunch of candy in the sleeve. So sue me
*Top administrator asked about email from #1 son
*Told him to delete. It went to everyone in his mailbox
*Drove home in the rain
*Saw 4 (FOUR) idiots walking in the middle of the road
*At 4 different locations
*What are they putting in the meth these days?
*On gravel road, saw many small frogs jumping to and fro
*Faintly heard "Hello, my honey...hello, my baby...hello, my ragtime doll"
*Watched the news with #1 son
*Children sent home from elementary school due to dead body found in cafeteria
*School locked kids in. With the body
*I kid you not
*Phoenix, Sierra Vista Elementary
*I have some handbaskets for sale


Mahala said...

Locked in school with a dead body?? Who's gonna pay for their therapy???

Mish said...

It must be a universal thing - seeing fools walking the streets with no concern about oncoming traffic.

At least locking those kids in the school will toughen them up. Those will become some badass kids!

LanternLight said...

I'mmmm backkkkk, and by cracky I've missed some fine posts.

Did Mr. Ducky give you a free AFLAC duck?

That whole student urinating in a bottle class thing, sucks. As if the student wouldn't get up and work out...

Did you get that new blog working?

I didn't know you could iron nylon! We once had a guy iron a plastic $10 bill.

So Mabel likes Cherry Coke, is that the same stuff as the sonic stuff you drink?

So apart from answering long comment posts, what are you doing with your holidays?

Hillbilly Mom said...

The taxpayers, of course!

I usually see them alongside the road in the daytime. These fools were in the middle of the road in the dark in the rain. I suppose these were the foolishest of fools.

Yes, enough of this namby-pamby I'm-OK-you're-OK spoonfeeding-self-esteem educational BS. Let those kids sit with a dead body once in a while. It's a good character-builder.

You certainly are efficient. I suppose it is a trait needed for your line of work.

No, I was stiffed on the AFLAC duck. The last one I got was about 5 years ago. The kids fought over him.

I smelled a stink from the urinator story. I thought the kid staged it to stir up some sh*t. Because if they REALLY had to go, yes, they would walk out. Unless they're psycho, or a troublemaker.

As you can see, this is my new one. I just change the name on the old, and VOILA, I start a new one with the old name.

Ironing nylon is not recommended. Except by the iron manufacturers.

I don't really think Mabel likes it. Somebody was terribly mislead to my blog.

Planning a cookout, and reading, and working on that project that shouldn't have been mine...though the major part of it is done.

Redneck. Diva. said...

Funny...when I see little frogs jumping willy nilly to and fro on the road the only thing I think I faintly hear is "Heeeelp us! Noooooo! Kids, MOVE! Keep jumping, Gladys, we're almost to the ditch!"
Things like that.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Wow! Those frogs need to get a Baby Name book and modernize.

Redneck. Diva. said...

Well, frogs are kind of still primordial and stuff. Give 'em a break.