Sunday, May 27, 2007

Holiday Edition Part 2

Which looks suspiciously like the untitled Part 1...

*We are planning a cookout of 1/4 hot dogs tonight at the MiniMansion
*Yeah, we are health food nuts. Marshmallows for dessert
*The boys are big scaredy-cats
*Took table and roasting sticks down to MiniMansion
*Sticks started to vibrate when placed in MM
*Heard a scream
*Drove the Scout back to the house, and rain poured down
*Pulled in garage, and rain stopped
*Look for us on Weird Travels, methinks
*Have been planning Crater of Diamonds vacation
*With a stop in Branson for the Dixie Stampede
*I hate vacations
*But I am looking forward to this one
*Because we will get it over with early in the summer
*Then I will still get my casino trip owed to me from my birthday
*I'm glad I've been secretly saving since Christmas for vacation
*Time to dig up that sock full of money from the backyard
*Hope I don't strike copper
*HH has forgotten about his plan to strip-mine our land for copper
*The pool people gave him the idea, after testing a water sample
*HH is a bit excitable
*Yesterday I made some excellent potato salad
*Not that it has anything to do with exciting HH
*The dogs have been on a killing spree for 4 days
*Armadillo, squirrel, squirrel, baby mole, mouse
*Yes, they murder more than once a day
*I'm suspicious that some of the carnage may be attributed to the cats
*And the dogs bully them out of their prize when they are done toying with it
*Except the armadillo
*Which still lingers, with a mousepad-sized chunk of shell on the side porch
*Ahh...country livin' is the life for me
*And old TV shows with theme songs like that
*Time to gather the vittles for the cookout
*A hillbilly's work is never done
*It has nothing to do with those killings, the vittle-gathering
*Trust me

7 comments:

LanternLight said...

1/4 hot dogs tonight at the MiniMansion

What? The hot dogs are only quarter their usual size? Wouldn't that leave you hungering for more?

Just A Girl said...

our cat kills moths and thinks he's done something spectacular.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Lantern,
It's the Hillbilly Diet. Save money on food, more money for meth...which really helps the diet.

What I actually meant was 1/4 POUND hot dogs, which are not actually good for a diet, or healthy, either, but are good when grilled on a metal stick until black over a fire made of pine board scraps that were not needed in the construction of the MiniMansion. Well, I thought it was a good hot dog, what with mustard all over it, not ruined with ketchup like the boys prefer, but the top cat, Genius, did not care for the hot dog, instead eating BBQ potato chips and leaving the hot dog chewed on by #2 son on the ground, to be found by a roving armadillo or lazy dog.

Just A Gal,
Methinks your cat needs a bit more training before tackling an armadillo. The biggest animal our cats murdered before the armadillo in question was a rabbit. I know the cats killed it, because the cats had possession of it. After they were done dragging it around, the dogs took it and ate it.

Redneck. Diva. said...

I can't believe no one has commented on the vibrating sticks and scream from the MiniMansion!! WTH??? You need to get a psychic in there to inspectigate! That's freakin' awesome...

Ya know, if a certain hillbilly wanted to meet a certain redneck, the perfect place to arrange such a meeting is Branson, MO... I'm just sayin'.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
Yeah, nobody seems impressed. I did not witness it myself. The boys went down there alone in the Scout. They were definitely spooked when they ran back in the Mansion. They even forgot to slam the door in each other's face.

I will be appearing in Branson for one night only...on Saturday. We're trying to get to the early Dixie Stampede show, and then ride go-karts and maybe play some miniature golf. Sunday morning, we leave for the diamond pasture. Since you just returned from Branson, that meeting may not be feasible this go-round.

Oh, and did I ever mention that HH is very suspicious of this whole blog thingy? He appears to think it is one big internet dating service or something. Not that I am trying to date you or anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that. We're kind of living the same life, except that you have an extra young 'un.

Redneck. Diva. said...

Daaaaang, you had to sneak this vacation in on me, otherwise I'd SO be stalking you. Unless I already am.....MUAH HAHAHAHHHAAAA!

My husband is the exact same way - thinks that if I talk to a guy, they want down my pants and if I talk to a girl well, she wants down my pants. And while I have some pretty big pants, there isn't enough room for the entire internet in there.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Diva,
I told you we married the same man. He's trying to hide his other family with this sneaky vacation.